Also, we've been taking Mira to some of my sister's dance performances. She seems to love them. She'll just sit and stare at the stage the whole time. But sometimes the music seems really loud. Loud enough to hurt my ears. And I worry that it's damaging her hearing. Should I use baby ear plugs or something?
And another thing, Mira's always slept well at home, but she resists falling asleep elsewhere. I'd like to be able to leave her at the grandparents' house and know that they'll be able to put her to bed there so that I can stay out. But she's never been able to do that. Should I try and force the issue? Or just let her rely on routine the way she seems to be doing now?
6 comments:
On the bottle-- this sounds exactly like what Donovan started doing. He started out taking bottles fine, then all of a sudden he'd take maybe an ounce and then cry, or not take any at all. Things to try: giving her the bottle while you hold her facing away from you (her back to your tummy) while walking around; have different people (Brian, your mom, etc) give the bottle while you're away from home. Last resort is to leave her with grandma for several hours until she "relearns" to take a bottle. This seems cruel and why I never had the heart to do it, but wonder if next time if faced with this same situation I might go for it after all. I think babies sometimes do this at this age as they're getting to be more aware of everything and more set in their preferences.
That's probably the same thing that's happening with naps-- she's developing a strong preference for a certain set of conditions for napping, and other people's home aren't it. If you don't already, try to establish a pre-nap routine like reading a book, singing a certain song, giving her a certain toy/blanket to sleep with, etc. This might help her get the message of "oh this is nap time."
Some babies are a lot more flexible than others. She may over time get more comfortable with certain other napping spots... or not. It'll be up to you then how you want to handle it, whether you want to cater to her and be home for every nap time (easier to do when they become more consistent and fewer in number) or just deal with a cranky baby when you're away from home.
As for the ear plugs-- definitely. They probably sell special baby ones, but a rolled up napkin probably works, too. We did that once when we took Donovan to Waterloo to see The Hudsons on our visit to Texas. =P
Just thought of something else-- how often does Mira get a bottle? I think part of what messed us up was that we got lazy and stopped giving him bottles regularly. I think once a day is pretty key. Maybe if you try offering it that often (you may already be doing so?) she'd get back into it.
We were recently consulted at work about this by a colleague (yay for infant feeding skillz!). When parents are trying to transition the baby to the bottle, and the baby prefers the breast (comfort, warm, snuggly, etc.) the baby does learn that if she cries she gets what she wants. I'm totally not kidding - if you give in to it, you're reinforcing the behavior. I wouldn't try to transition whole hog yet (unless you're trying to get back to work), but do keep it in mind. It is basic behavioral conditioning, and yes, babies ARE smart enough to manipulate their parents at a tender young age. :D Call me if you want more info or elaboration.
As Marcy said, it's likely the same thing with the naps...
And yes on baby ear plugs. When noise is loud enough to hurt, it's hit the 140dB threshold - which is past the point of being able to cause damage.
Ryan didn't have trouble taking a bottle because she got one at least once a day. We'd be out and I'd give her one in the car, or she'd get fed by her dad while I was working. I went back to work and school when she was 3 months old so it was take a bottle or don't get fed for several hours. If you really want her to take a bottle, just keep offering it to her. Nice thing is she won't starve herself. T seemed to enjoy feeding time and it was a handy way to quiet her in the car. I didn't try a bunch of types of nipples, we had one set of bottles and she took them.
On the napping, I can't remember if she had trouble sleeping away from home, but I seem to remember you babysat for me once and she cried the whole time. :) It turns out she wasn't harmed by it in the least though I think Brian's nerves were frazzled, not sure about you. Sometimes you just have to do things and expect baby to adapt.
So upon re-reading my comments I want to re-phrase something:
"Last resort is to leave her with grandma for several hours until she "relearns" to take a bottle. This seems cruel and why I never had the heart to do it."
As Lindsey pointed out, this sort of thing is often a necessity. I viewed it as not very nice because I didn't NEED to do it-- if I'd had to go back to work, it's what would have happened, but otherwise I couldn't justify my desire to be away from him as enough to make him cry for hours. Then again we let him cry it out for sleeping, so that shows how illogical Mommy Logic can be... lol
Only a REALLY GREAT mom would even be asking these questions. On the eating and sleeping questions, note that babies are EXTREMELY adaptable if they need to be. Mira did eventually eat and nap a little at my house, and you are not leaving her for more than a few hours anyway. And in a couple of months when she starts eating a little, the bottle will start being much less important. If we cater too much to the babies' preferences, we probably limit their ability to adapt.
YOU, my sweet child, had a mother who was so heartless, that you used to sleep in grocery carts, behind other people's couches, in your high chair, and occasionally with your face falling into your dinner plate. And you grew up to be a great mom with a charming sense of humor!!!!!
Love, Mom
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