Pregnancy update - 36 weeks (also, I talk too much)

My last pregnancy update was at 34 weeks, and I’ve actually had 2 prenatal appointments since then. And a lot has been going on with my body. Changes are definitely happening and I feel my body working up to labor.

Starting around the end of week 34, my Braxton-Hicks  contractions really amped up the volume. They were really strong, very uncomfortable, and mildly crampy. I also started having them very frequently, several times in an hour. It was a few days after that, I was in the beginning of my 35th week, when I started having what I can only describe as sharp, popping pain... down there. These pains started worrying me because I remember having something similar a couple hours before going into labor with Mira. So I went ahead and scheduled an impromptu appointment with one of my midwives.

After the routine checks and a pelvic exam, the midwife informed me that my uterus was “stressed”, her words. It’s normal for women to have BH contractions, but not with the intensity and frequency that I was experiencing. (I had several during the appointment, so she got to witness them first hand.) And the sharp pains that I was having, she called “cervical twinges”. She said it was basically the cervix starting to loosen up, and could feel quite sharp and painful. The pelvic exam revealed that, at that time, I was not yet starting to dilate, but my cervix was softening in preparation for labor. Of course, that can happen minutes before labor or weeks before labor, but either way that’s what was causing my discomfort. She said that she didn’t see any signs that I was going into labor immediately though, so she sent me home with directions to get as much rest as possible, drink lots of water, take hot baths often, and come back in 1 week.

Well, de-stressing a uterus is not an easy thing when there’s a toddler involved but luckily I have family and friends to help me. I’ve had meals prepared for me, several times someone has come and taken Mira for me, and Brian has really stepped up on a lot of the chores that I normally would do. But despite all the help, the BH contractions continued to be pretty frequent and fairly intense. They were uncomfortable enough that if I was walking when I had one then I would have to stop and stand still. And when I had them while driving, I was always very tempted to pull over.

After that week, I went back in yesterday morning for my next checkup. The midwife made sure that the baby was still head down, took a swab to test for GBS, and did a pelvic exam. I had told her that I was planning to travel to Dallas for Christmas this coming weekend and asked her if she saw anything to indicate that I should do otherwise. Essentially, her response was that I should stay home, though she didn’t say it quite that directly. My blood pressure was slightly elevated above my normal (though still in a healthy range), probably from holiday stress. And in the past week I had dilated to 1 cm, probably as a result of all the BH contractions. The midwife told me that she would advise me to do whatever I could to make this holiday a restful one... which sounded a whole lot to me like “Don’t go to Dallas.”

So that was yesterday and I went about making all the calls and cancellations so that we could stay in Austin for the holidays. And it’s looking like it’s a good thing that I did...

Because last night my body decided to give this whole labor thing a test drive.

I started having contractions that felt a whole lot more like actual labor contractions, starting at about 4:30pm yesterday. They were very crampy and much stronger than the BH I was having, and while they didn’t seem to have a steady rhythm, they were coming on about every 5-10 minutes. I called Brian and let him know what was going on, but that I wasn’t sure it was labor, and we decided that he would finish out his work day and then come home. So Mira and I sat down in front of Sesame Street and I relaxed and drank water while Mira was entranced by puppets. By the time Brian got home, the contractions were still going and becoming more intense, but still no steady rhythm. So we ate dinner and I called my mom to give her an early warning that we might maybe possibly be starting labor or maybe it was nothing. She said she’d go ahead and come get Mira to spend the night at her house just in case it was labor and I needed to go to the birth center in the middle of the night. Which was great because it really let Brian and I focus on what was going on with me, and on getting ready in case it was the real deal. (I had so convinced myself that the baby wouldn’t come till after Christmas that I didn’t have a bag packed for the labor yet or even have the baby’s carseat installed in the car.) So while I was taking a bath, Brian packed a bag and got the car ready. I was still having contractions at least every 10 minutes, sometimes they’d come much faster (every 3 minutes) and sometimes they’d slow way down again. Brian took great care of me the whole evening. At about midnight, we decided that we’d both try to sleep. I was still having frequent contractions, but they were feeling milder now, so I was hopeful that I’d be able to sleep through them. And I did... some. I slept for one 2-hour stretch and then for little 30-minute snoozes for the rest of the night. Brian slept a little better because we agreed that he should sleep in a different room so that I wouldn’t disturb him unless I needed to. But by this morning, the contractions had pretty much stopped... when I was sitting or laying still. The minute I would get up onto my feet they would start up again and walking would lead to basically one continuous contraction that just came in waves, with no defined start or stop, just an ebbing and flowing.

So that’s where I am right now. Brian has decided to work from home today so that he can be close to me and help me when I need it. Mom brought Mira back home for her nap, but can take her back at a moment’s notice, since she’s off work till after Christmas. I’ve given up on actually being in real labor for right now (though I was never convinced that all those contractions were labor, since they never became steady and organized). And still now, if I’m sitting or laying, the contractions go away, but if I stand or walk they come on immediately and pretty strong. So we’re sort of in a play-it-by-ear situation.

The good news is that, being 36 weeks along, my midwives could deliver me at the birth center now. (Any earlier than 36 weeks and I would have had to go to the hospital because of the risks associated with babies born prematurely.) But still, I hope that Ellowyn manages to stay put a little bit longer. Mostly because the closer I am to full term when she is born, the healthier she is likely to be. But also because we didn’t really plan to have a newborn at Christmas, and I’m not sure how it would effect our celebration plans. Do I really want to take a days-old baby to a huge gathering of people? I dunno...  We'll cross that bridge if we get there.

Mira counts

About a month ago, Mira began to obsess... with counting.  But she would only count to two.  She would count everything... balls, toys, people, shoes, bubbles, cars... everything... in twos.  "One, two," she would point and say.  And if there were more than two of whatever she was counting, then she would just keep on pointing and repeat, "One, two, one, two, one, two..." until she had counted them all.

Well one day maybe about a week ago, she was counting something and... she just kept going.  She counted right up to 10.  Now she can count all the way up to 12, though she sometimes skips 9 or gets hung up and needs reminding of what comes next.

And it's not like it's just a series of things to say.  Like three is just what you say after you say two.  No.  For her, there is meaning to counting.  She knows that the numbers are an answer to the question "how many".  What a smart little gal!  

So here are some videos of her counting.  I love the way she says "seven", especially.  Also, "six" sounds rather vulgar, which I find pretty amusing.  

In this one, she's counting while she spins.

In this one, she is counting her "guys" (that's what she calls her stuffed animals).  She keeps coming back to the camera because she has learned that she can watch the videos of herself right after I record them, so she's a little anxious to see the recording.

And as you might expect with a toddler, not all videos go according to plan.  In this one, I was trying to get her to count to 10 for the camera, but she was more interested in goofing off.  I call this one the blooper scene.

Goodbye Mimic

Yesterday afternoon, our cat (or really Brian's cat) Mimic passed away.  We had noticed that he wasn't looking so good over the weekend: he was walking funny, had lost a lot of weight very rapidly, smelled funny, and just didn't look right (though we couldn't exactly pinpoint what was off about him, we just knew he didn't look good).  So we watched him over the weekend and then first thing Monday morning I called the vet and made an appointment for that afternoon.

Mira and I took him in, and Mira was very interested in the whole process.  She knew that there was a doctor for her and a doctor for Mommy, but now she was discovering that there was also a doctor for pets.  On the way to the vet, with Mimic meowing from the carrier in the back, Mira kept saying "key ca" (kitty cat) and "dah ter" (doctor) and "moww" (meow).  And when we got there, she insisted on being held up to the examination table so that she could see what was being done to Mimic and I explained everything as the nurse listened to Mimic's heart with a stethoscope and took his temperature and looked in his mouth.  She was really interested in the whole process.  

Well, anyway,  then the vet came in and asked me to tell her what had been going on to prompt our visit and I tried to explain that Mimic just didn't look right, without really being able to pinpoint what didn't look right about him.  He was still drinking and being affectionate, but he seemed to have lost interest in food, though he did keep approaching the food bowl, he would just sit there next to it instead of actually eating anything.  After she got my version of what was wrong, she said that we were right to bring him in, he's very sick.  She then pointed out what exactly looked wrong with him, which I had been unable to put words to: his eyes were sunken and his skin was pulled in to his bones because of dehydration.  I told her that he has constant access to water and he was still drinking, so I didn't know how he would have become so dehydrated.  She then told me that it could be kidney failure causing the dehydration.

As soon as she mentioned kidney failure I knew...

She felt around on his abdomen and said that she could feel that the kidneys were inflamed.  She then said she'd like to do a quick blood test to confirm her suspicion.  While we were waiting for the blood test results, I called Brian and warned him that it was not looking good.  I asked him if he wanted to be present if it turned out that Mimic needed to be euthanized, and he said yes, so I told him he'd better come on in.  

The test results came back and all confirmed renal failure.  Mimic was rapidly building up toxins in his system as his kidneys shut down and failed to process them out through his urine.  The vet explained that the toxins were probably causing him to feel pain and depression, that there was nothing we could have done to prevent this, and that there was no treatment that would help.  I understood exactly what she was trying to gently get at and let her know that we would like to humanely end his suffering but asked if we could wait till Brian arrived so that he could say goodbye.  They were very accommodating.  

Brian arrived and he had some time with Mimic before he was euthanized.  I thought about taking Mira out to the waiting room, but Brian asked that I stay with him, so Mira just played with the cat carrier in the corner while the procedure was done.  It was very calm and serene.  Brian was petting Mimic as he passed away and Mimic was purring right up to the end, because that's the kind of cat Mimic was.

Well, as we were leaving, Mira noticed that we weren't leaving with a cat.  So she asked "key ca?"  I had been so focused on Brian that I was a little caught off guard by the sudden realization that I now had to explain what was going on to Mira.  As we were getting into the car, I told her, "Mira, the cat was old and sick.  The doctor couldn't help him get better.  He's gone now, he died."  She immediately looked right at me and said, "Dead.  Bye bye."  And it absolutely broke my heart.  That my not-even-two-year-old daughter, who still didn't even get the concept of when to say "me" versus when to say "you", whose spoken vocabulary didn't even yet include words like "fun" and "sing", who seems still so little and vulnerable to me... already she knew all about "dead".  In that moment, I just wanted to hug her close to me and protect her from everything bad that would ever happen to her and never ever let her go.

And I did just that.  For an entire, all-too-brief minute.

Pregnancy update - 34 weeks

I've now hit the point that my midwives want to see me every two weeks instead of just once a month.  So this morning I was back in their office.  This time, Brian came along, which was really nice.  He can't always make the appointments because he's busy at work, but I sure am glad when he can.  Not only is he helpful in watching Mira while I'm talking to the midwife or getting examined, but also it's just nice to not be the only pregnant lady in the waiting room with a toddler instead of a husband sitting next to her.  Something about the demographic of women who have chosen this birth center, they all seem to have husbands who are very involved, which is pretty cool.  Probably has something to do with the fact that Bradley courses (husband-coached childbirth classes) are so strongly recommended by the midwives...

Anyway, so speaking of our Bradley course... We just have two weeks left in the course and now that we've been through a majority of it, we know a lot more about what we're going to need in our birth room, having done so much relaxation practice and labor rehearsal.  So we wanted to revisit the birth rooms to remind ourselves what we would have available versus what we would need to bring (the main reason Brian came along for this appointment).  As we were checking out the rooms again, I was reminded of one of the reasons I chose this birth center over a hospital.  The rooms are so homey and relaxing compared to a hospital setting.  There is no nursery, so the baby never leaves the room where you are.  Everything that the midwives will need is right in the room.  They assume that the laboring woman will be unmedicated and therefore provide certain tools (such as a birth ball and squatting stool) that are not provided by most hospitals, where a majority of women are immobilized by an epidural.  Anyway, it's a really positive, supportive, relaxing environment and I'm happy to be delivering there.  

So then after that it was the usual prenatal appointment: weight, blood pressure, urine, belly measurements, fetal heartbeat, etc.  My blood pressure is staying good and low, right around 115/70.  Baby's heartbeat was about 140 bpm, which is great.  I actually lost weight again: in the two weeks since my last appointment, I lost one pound.  (Making total weight gain this pregnancy 4 pounds, so far.)  This actually makes sense to me, since I'm eating a lot less because it just won't fit in my tummy anymore.  I feel full after just a few bites.  Also, my reflux keeps me from eating normal sized portions; now that my stomach is so compressed, I start getting reflux not just after meals, but during.  Which is not appetizing.  And despite the fact that I'm eating so much less, I'm still just as physically active, since there's not much of a choice when there's a toddler involved.  Plus also, we've been working on getting the nursery ready, and that's a lot of moving around.  But the midwife seemed unconcerned that I'd lost more weight.  She said she was happy with my weight and the way I was looking, especially since my belly grew 4 centimeters in the last 2 weeks (!!!).  So that means the baby is growing and getting bigger, despite my weight loss.

By palpating my belly, she was able to tell me that the baby's head is down, as it was last time.  She also said that the baby would almost certainly stay head down for the rest of the pregnancy.  Especially since her head seemed to be jammed down into my pelvis.  The midwife said that there wasn't much give down there because Ellowyn's head was so firmly settled into my pelvis.  She said that happens sometimes with second pregnancies because everything is already loosened up for the baby's passage, especially when the pregnancies are close together as mine have been.  Well, that totally explains all the pain I've been experiencing over the last week or more.  My stomach and pelvis have been in almost constant pain, with certain activities making it worse.  My stomach muscles have been really sore and I'll get sharp muscle pain; I think somewhat because of this cough that I've had for about 2 weeks as I'm getting over a cold.  But also, my pelvis has been achy, like all the joints down there are painful and loose.  I never hurt this much in my first pregnancy, so what the midwife said makes sense to me that it's because Ellowyn's head is so wedged in there.  

Ellowyn is still just as active as ever, but the quality of her movements is changing as her space diminishes.  It's much less like "banging around" and much more stretching and pushing.  It's also getting much more uncomfortable when she moves, as something of mine is always stretched or squished.

I did end up talking to an eye doctor about my ocular migraines, as one midwife had recommended.  She said exactly what I thought she would, that the ocular migraines I was having were due to hormones and stress and that I would likely continue to have them throughout the pregnancy but that they would likely stop after the baby was born.  One thing she did say that I found kind of interesting: in addition to avoiding stress, I could help control them by drinking a little caffeine.  She said that caffeine stimulates the "blood vessel wall" (whatever that means), and will help prevent or lessen the severity of the ocular migraines.  She said to take in about 65mg per day of caffeine (about the amount in one soda or one small coffee), and to really maximize the effect, to nurse one caffeinated beverage over a long span of time.  Like caffeine on continuous drip.  I hadn't been drinking any caffeine really at all, so drinking one a day is kind of hard for me.  But I have found that since I've started doing this I haven't had another ocular migraine (I've been at it for maybe a week).  So maybe it's helping, which would be good news. 

So there.  Despite all the complaining, I managed to end the blog post on a positive note at least.  Can you tell that I'm done with being pregnant?  ;-P

Pregnancy update - 32 weeks

I had another appointment with my birth center yesterday.  Everything is still going pretty well.  Baby's heart rate is good (140 bpm).  My blood pressure is staying nice and low, which I am super happy about.  I gained 3 pounds this month, which is a nice healthy amount.  This makes my total weight gain for the pregnancy 5 pounds (since I lost so much weight in my first trimester due to morning sickness).  When I was pregnant with Mira, this was the time of the pregnancy that I was putting on the most weight, so I'm feeling really good about my modest but healthy weight gain, especially right now.  I'm eating a little healthier in this pregnancy than my previous one (substituting healthy, low fat, low sugar foods instead of giving in to every craving) and I'm also much more physically active in this pregnancy than I was in my last pregnancy (entirely due to the fact that I have to keep up with a toddler all day long instead of sit at a desk job).  So those two things combined probably account for the more modest weight gain.

I am still having ocular migraines, but they are coming on much less frequently.  I do seem to notice a correlation between them and getting stressed out.  It seems like if I'm having "one of those days", then I am more likely to get an ocular migraine.  Which is always a great addition to whatever I'm already dealing with, let me tell you.  :-/  I have had one while I was driving, which is probably the worst possible time since I go almost completely blind.  Luckily I was in a place where it was easy to pull over, so everything was fine.  But as a result of that, we are having Brian do the driving for me when it is at all an option.  I did talk to a midwife at the birth center about them, and she said it was likely due to the hormonal changes in my body but that I should get in to see an eye doctor just to make sure it isn't something else.

Now that I'm firmly into the third trimester, I am really starting to feel tired again.  Looking back on the second trimester, I realize that I did have more energy, but it certainly didn't feel like it at the time.  But by comparison, it was better because now I am plain exhausted.  But I can't just go to sleep, oh no.  I'm so uncomfortable at night, I'm tossing and turning and getting up every so often to pee.  So there's really no relief of the constant lack of energy.  And I wish that I could just let things go, sit and relax and not fret about whatever needs to be done, and I do sometimes, but other times all the things I need to do start rummaging around in my head and then I start getting anxious if I don't clean something or put something away or take Mira somewhere or run an errand.  ("Stay at home mom" is really a misnomer.)

So when I talked to the midwife about all that, the ocular migraines associated with stress and having trouble sleeping yet feeling tired all the time, she said "Well it sounds like you're having trouble relaxing.  You could try having a half glass of wine before bed every now and then."  Oh really????  Well, I took her advice last night, but I don't think I drank enough to feel any different, it was just a few sips really, not even a half glass.  And I drank it slowly, over the course of 2 hours, so I really didn't feel anything.  But it was nice to just taste.  I don't think I'm comfortable drinking more than a few sips at a time (I'm a little paranoid, despite recent evidence to the contrary), so I'm not sure I'll get the effects the midwife intended from this, but I have always liked the taste of wine, so I might try this again before the pregnancy is through.

Ellowyn continues to be quite the little athlete, despite the rapid decrease in available space.  She often moves so vigorously that I am suddenly very uncomfortable, sometimes even causing me sharp pains in the ribs or pelvic bone.  Despite the discomfort, it is kind of fun to sit and watch my belly twist and jump this way and that.  I'm trying to enjoy it as much as possible, since we're not entirely sure that we'll want a third child, so it's possible that this will be my last pregnancy.

Mira knows some letters.

Mira can now identify 15 letters (capitals only, not lowercase).  If you point to a letter and ask her what the letter is she can say it or if you ask her where is the letter Y (or A or L or any of the other 15 letters she knows) she can point it out on a page of words.

Recently she's also started trying to write some letters.  She's really good at writing M and I and O, but she also likes to try R and V and N.

I don't feel like I've really pushed her to learn the alphabet, she just seems really interested in it.  We'll be reading a book and she'll start pointing to the letters and saying what they are; sometimes she seems more interested in the text than the pictures.  And some of her favorite toys are letters, too.  She has a set of tub toys that are letters that stick to the wall when wet and she also has a set of alphabet magnets that she puts on our front door.  When she colors, she often brings me the crayons and asks me to draw certain letters.

I'm glad that she's shown so much interest in it.  I wonder if it's because she loves to read so much and somehow she already knows that reading involves solving this whole letter "puzzle".  In any case, she's making my goal of having her reading before entering kindergarten very attainable.  ;-)

Mira knows her colors.

Sometimes she mixes up blue and purple, but I know adults who still have a tough time with that distinction.  ;-)

Interactive songs

Ok, it's been long enough since I posted here.  You're probably thinking I owe you a good one.  Well, here it is, folks: not one, not two, but THREE Mira videos for your viewing pleasure.  I know, I know... it may be too much cuteness for your hearts to take.  Brace yourself.

Baby #2's name

A couple months ago, Brian and I came up with a name for Baby #2.  We thought we'd sit on it a while, let it roll around in our heads, and then decide if we still liked it.  Well, it's been months now and every time one of us suggests a different name, we ultimately decide that we don't like it as well as the original.  So I guess it might as well be official.

Baby #2 will be named Ellowyn Shanelle Drake.

On the name Ellowyn: This is a name that I made up.  I've never heard it before anywhere.  You may be thinking it's from "Lord of the Rings", but it's not.  There was an Eowyn and an Arwen, but never an Ellowyn.  Just like with Mira, we wanted a first name that would be original enough that there wouldn't be 3 kids in her class with the same name, but not so original that it couldn't be easily pronounced.  As for nicknames, I don't intend to call her anything short of Ellowyn, though once she got old enough if she expressed a desire to be called something different, Ellie or Elle or Ella or Wyn or Wynnie, I would go along with her wishes.

On the name Shanelle: This name is a combination of two other names: the middle names of Brian's two birth sisters.  One has the middle name Shanno, the other's middle name is Michelle.  Combine the two and you get Shanelle.  Again, this is a play on something we did with Mira's name: Mira's middle name is Lee, which just happens to be the middle name of both my mother and Brian's mother.  So with both our girls, we managed to name them after two people with one name.  What can I say?  I'm a fan of consistency.

Mira is <..> this much a toddler

I'm so lucky to have such a happy agreeable little girl.  (Ok, I'm sure some of it has to do with my parenting style and the fact that I can be home with her, but I'm also convinced that part of it is her temperament, which is totally luck of the draw.)  When I ask her a question, her default answer is the most adorable little "Yeah!".  As opposed to many toddlers, who seem to know no words other than "no".  Mira has to stop and check herself if she really wants to say "no" to something.  She almost says "yeah" and then thinks twice and shakes her head "no".  Now it's possible that it's only a matter of time before I eventually do have an obstinate, negative, yelling, tantrum-throwing toddler.  But thankfully that day has not yet come.  For the most part, Mira follows directions, she is polite and sweet, and she plays gently.  She even says "thank you" (in sign) without being prompted every now and then.  Mira is mostly a dream.

Except when she's not.

It's rare, but sometimes Mira does manage to wear on my nerves.  Mostly this is in the form of whining.  Her vocabulary is expanding so incredibly rapidly, but still she just doesn't have the words for every situation.  And when she doesn't have the words, she will usually say "ah ah" or "ooo eee".  And I'm totally ok with that.  But it is also in those situations that she is more prone to get frustrated and then the "ah ah" becomes a more piercing whine.  And I think I have been somewhat encouraging the whining because I will unthinkingly respond to her whines by addressing her needs.  So now I'm starting to make a conscious effort to stop doing that.  When she starts whining I (try to) just say "I don't like that sound" and do nothing else to help her.  If she continues, then sometimes I say "I don't understand your whining; use words or show me what you want without whining."  I've only been at it for a few days and it usually takes longer than that to change behavior, so we'll see if it helps over the next few weeks.

But all in all, I realize that I don't have much to complain about with Mira.  She's awesome.  Though I am a bit worried that maybe she's spoiled me... Ellowyn may end up being a shock to my senses.