Weigh in - 13 months

Well we're getting close, people.  I am thisclose to completing this 30 pound goal.  Being so close really makes me want to buckle down and finish this thing already.

This month was more of the same: MMA training 2-3 times a week and Strike class at the gym 3 times a week.  I've also been (moderately) maintaining a diet that is lower in carbs and sugar and higher in protein.

Also this month, I ran in my first ever 5k race with Brian.  It went by faster than I expected it to; it didn't feel difficult at all.  That said, I've decided that (for me) running is BORING.  Compared to kick combos and sparring and pad holding and knife fighting (yes, I did say knife fighting; I am starting to learn a bit of that in my MMA training).... running just can't hold a candle.  I figure I'm probably addicted to the adrenaline rush that comes with combat; "runner's high" just doesn't compare.  And I figure that if you don't enjoy your workout, you're not likely to stick with it in the long run.  So I'll probably be foregoing the running in the future.  But hey, it was an experience and I can now check "run a 5k" off my bucket list.

As far as my body, I still have my trouble areas, BUT I'm really starting to see some very nice improvements both overall and in certain areas of my body.  Overall, I am noticing that I'm smaller all around.  Clothes are definitely fitting looser.  I'm able to fit into things that I haven't worn since before Mira was born.  I'm having to get rid of a BUNCH of clothes that are simply so big on me that they literally fall off and won't stay on.  I'm liking what I see in the mirror a little more (which is saying a lot for me, as I tend to be highly self-critical).  And certain areas of my body are getting to be downright buff.  When I flex, I can actually feel individual muscle segments in my shoulders, for example.  And there is a lot of muscle definition visible (Visible! Like, to be seen with the naked eye!) in my legs now too.

I was talking to a friend recently and had a revelation of sorts: my body has made improvements that my mind has not yet caught up to.  In my mind, I'm still fat and that's the way I expect people to perceive me and treat me.  I don't expect to be able to run a 5k.  I don't expect my trainer to take one look at me and then assume that I am capable of more than your average woman.  I don't expect to be able to try on clothes in a store that are 4-5 sizes smaller than what I'm used to.  And I certainly don't expect to be hit on by anyone.  Ever.  But all of these things are happening.  And the best way to describe it is... disconcerting.  I don't know if my brain will ever catch up to my body.  I don't even know if I want it to or not.

Ok so here's what you want to know: This month I lost 3 pounds.  Part of me was hoping I could go ahead and lose the last 5 pounds to meet my goal this month, but another more reasonable part of me knows that 3 pounds is really good this late in the game.  I'm really really really optimistic that I can finish this thing in the month to come.

I lost 3 pounds this month. Since I started 13 months ago, I've lost 28 pounds, putting me just 2 pounds away from my goal of losing 30 pounds.